Often times we struggle with our roles as mothers, or maybe its just me, but I would like to think that im not the only one who lays in bed at night pondering if I spent enough time with my kids that day. Am I the only one who feels that the days are turning into year far to quickly and that the very short time that we have to influence our children and mold them into the ppl we hope them to be without over impossing who we think they should be is closing in? Sure I tell them I love them, I do daily more than once even, but did I show them that I loved them. Do they feel the love that I know I have for them or is it lost on them in our daily lives of homeschool chores and errands? Do they feel they are loved equal to their siblings or do they feel that my love is divided between them? Am I the only one who has these worries? I am always hearing or seeing debates amoungst mothers, who is better, SAHM's, Working Moms, Moms who do a little of both..we are constently at war with one another trying to prove that we are better, which in the end has us secretly feeling like we are doing something wrong for our children.
Dont get me wrong, I dont feel that motherhood is all worry and feelings of potential regret. It is the most Sacred of callings, and one that I just sometimes feel I take too lightly at times. Motherhood is an HONOR that I feel is often times wasted and not treasured up like it should be. I feel like more than any other time in the world, our callings as mothers has never required more deligence than it does today more responsibility and more strength. Everywhere we look the advesary is calling our children, and they are responding they are heeding his calling and doing his will instead of the will of our Heavenly Father, and nothing gives me greater fear than it being one of MY children who are one to respond and that I didnt try hard enough to prevent it. How can I help be a bigger influence on them so that they heed the warning of the Holy Ghost and stay clear of his temptations? I myself daily wrestle with his power and the spiritual wickedness..I find myself doubting my testimony or morality. It is in those times that I pray to my Heavenly Father and ask for his guidence and comfort. I then realize I shouldnt fear, I am a child of God, as our my children, and as long as I follow the covenants that I made with him, he will guide me so that I may help guide my children, he will provide me with the tools I need to be the greater influence on my kids that I want to be.
I have found that motherhood is the most challenging and rewarding eternal callings and I feel VERY blessed to serve this mission. My children have taught me more spiritually than I have them I think. It has allowed me to grow spiritually and temporally having me realize things that honestly I would not have otherwise. It has stregthened my testimony in areas that I had not testimony in. It has stregthened my realationship with God , Jesus Christ and with myself. It has stregthened my opinion on how important the nuclear family and how fragil it is. There is a quote that states, " one of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother" How true this statement is, and how true it is for the same aspect for us mothers to remember that we too must love our husbands, and sustain them as a father, to honor them as such and as a preisthood holder in the home. I feel so very blessed to have the preisthood in my home, growing up in a home that didnt have it, I KNOW the blessings that come from having my husband hold the priesthood and be a worthy holder of it.
So while at times I do doubt my abilities at my calling to my children to be the best I can be, I realize that these spiritual concerns are actually important. I realize that these doubts give me reason to improve, I will not accept defeat, I will continue to strive harder work harder to be a better Mother, teacher, wife, and daughter of God.
I think that the First Presidency sums it best for me when they issued a statement that said " Motherhood, is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to angels. Because mothers are essential to God's great plan of happiness, their sacred work is opposed by Satan, who would destroy the family and demean the worth of women."
I Resolve to give God everything I got to be the best mother, wife, and daughter to him, and then I will leave the results up to him, because with God, nothing is impossible!
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