Where does the time go?

Hey 2 weeks done in a row!! WOOT Im on a roll, now if anyone actually read these I would feel accomplished hahaha. No not really, I suppose in a way this is like my own little online journal to have. The past week has not brought about much of any new change, same typical week for this mama. Get up, nurse the baby, feed the kids, wash dishes do some laundry, tell Josie once again to stay out of the pantry and NO you cant have the fishy crackers, feed the baby again, lunch for the kiddos, cross my fingers that the kids will take a nap or atleast the youngest ones wil, do some more cleaning, with a few hours of homeschooling thrown in the mix only to realize that we once again have had Lord of the Rings on repeat in the DVD machine all day long...all the while I gaze longingly at the clock on the wall counting down the 12+ hours till Jer gets home. Only to realize that when he does get home, nothing has changed haha. No Jer is a great daddy, he is a great help with the kids and they love him so much. He gets home and eats some dinner and has little time to himself as kids are hanging on him screaming of how their day went, what they did, who did what and who did what to whom. I honestly dont know how he does it mentally, not only does he have to balance a working life, dealing with what goes along with his job, but then he comes home to this choas everynight..

On a very sad but happy note, Tanner Laroy Cutler Schell, turned 1 month old yesterday!! 1 MONTH OLD!! how did that actually happen? Honestly it does not feel like a month, I realize you are all thinking to yourself, chill out its only 1 month, not 1 year, but thats the thing, before I know it, it WILL be 1 year, then another and then another, and then he will be 8 years old getting baptized, then 18 graduating, then going on a mission, then getting married, then having kids of his own. I can tell you this, it will be a sad day in this household when he has his first birthday. Dont get me wrong, I want him to grow up, I want to enjoy the blessings that come from watching him grow, mature, and explore the world around him. But that day when my baby turns one, will be a sad one for this mama, it will mark the end of babies in this Schell household, well at this time anyway since we believe ourselves to be done having babies. I am trying to treasure each moment i have with my kids, but it seems like those moments are passing to quick!!

The picture above was taken of Tanner before he turned 1 month, but I love it so much that I dont care and will just call it his one month picture. I am very excited about getting my new camera in a few weeks. hopefully I will be able to get some time in to work with it and get really good with it. I would like to progress with it so that its less of a hobby and more of a career that I love to do :D

A High And Noble Calling

Often times we struggle with our roles as mothers, or maybe its just me, but I would like to think that im not the only one who lays in bed at night pondering if I spent enough time with my kids that day. Am I the only one who feels that the days are turning into year far to quickly and that the very short time that we have to influence our children and mold them into the ppl we hope them to be without over impossing who we think they should be is closing in? Sure I tell them I love them, I do daily more than once even, but did I show them that I loved them. Do they feel the love that I know I have for them or is it lost on them in our daily lives of homeschool chores and errands? Do they feel they are loved equal to their siblings or do they feel that my love is divided between them? Am I the only one who has these worries? I am always hearing or seeing debates amoungst mothers, who is better, SAHM's, Working Moms, Moms who do a little of both..we are constently at war with one another trying to prove that we are better, which in the end has us secretly feeling like we are doing something wrong for our children.

Dont get me wrong, I dont feel that motherhood is all worry and feelings of potential regret. It is the most Sacred of callings, and one that I just sometimes feel I take too lightly at times. Motherhood is an HONOR that I feel is often times wasted and not treasured up like it should be. I feel like more than any other time in the world, our callings as mothers has never required more deligence than it does today more responsibility and more strength. Everywhere we look the advesary is calling our children, and they are responding they are heeding his calling and doing his will instead of the will of our Heavenly Father, and nothing gives me greater fear than it being one of MY children who are one to respond and that I didnt try hard enough to prevent it. How can I help be a bigger influence on them so that they heed the warning of the Holy Ghost and stay clear of his temptations? I myself daily wrestle with his power and the spiritual wickedness..I find myself doubting my testimony or morality. It is in those times that I pray to my Heavenly Father and ask for his guidence and comfort. I then realize I shouldnt fear, I am a child of God, as our my children, and as long as I follow the covenants that I made with him, he will guide me so that I may help guide my children, he will provide me with the tools I need to be the greater influence on my kids that I want to be.

I have found that motherhood is the most challenging and rewarding eternal callings and I feel VERY blessed to serve this mission. My children have taught me more spiritually than I have them I think. It has allowed me to grow spiritually and temporally having me realize things that honestly I would not have otherwise. It has stregthened my testimony in areas that I had not testimony in. It has stregthened my realationship with God , Jesus Christ and with myself. It has stregthened my opinion on how important the nuclear family and how fragil it is. There is a quote that states, " one of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother" How true this statement is, and how true it is for the same aspect for us mothers to remember that we too must love our husbands, and sustain them as a father, to honor them as such and as a preisthood holder in the home. I feel so very blessed to have the preisthood in my home, growing up in a home that didnt have it, I KNOW the blessings that come from having my husband hold the priesthood and be a worthy holder of it.

So while at times I do doubt my abilities at my calling to my children to be the best I can be, I realize that these spiritual concerns are actually important. I realize that these doubts give me reason to improve, I will not accept defeat, I will continue to strive harder work harder to be a better Mother, teacher, wife, and daughter of God.

I think that the First Presidency sums it best for me when they issued a statement that said " Motherhood, is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to angels. Because mothers are essential to God's great plan of happiness, their sacred work is opposed by Satan, who would destroy the family and demean the worth of women."

I Resolve to give God everything I got to be the best mother, wife, and daughter to him, and then I will leave the results up to him, because with God, nothing is impossible!

A New Begining

So I have decided to start back up with my old blog. I am bound and determined to actually be active in keeping up on this, which most likely means, I wont...lol.

For starters, I would like to mention that we have added yet another new addition to our family, making us now a family of 9 :) Tanner Laroy-Cutler Schell joined our family on Dec 29th of 2011. He is a wonderfull blessing and came into the world weighing 9lbs even and 21 inches long. He has LB's nose and JosieAnns blue eyes, and red hair!! All the kids love him including Josie who at times loves him just a tad too much haha. Right now he is a complete mamas, boy and I have every intentions of keeping him that way :D Jer and I feel very blessed to have him in our family. As of right now, he is our last baby, at first we were very set on me getting a tubal to make sure he was our last. however over the last few days, we have had a change of heart and prayed about what we should do, and came to the conclusion that we dont want to do something so permament and that we will just go with a non hormonal IUD. We feel that with us being so young, it would be tragic to 5 years from now feel differently and actually still want to expand our family.

Also since it has been awhile since I updated this blog, I should mention that Jer, the family and I no longer reside in Missouri. We are currently living in Arizona. Although its a nice enough place, Arizona does not feel like "home" to us. I feel like we are meant to be here for a reason and that us being here, will ultimately lead us to the place that we are meant to be in the future and that without us being here that wouldnt have been possible. I tend to feel guilty that we have yet to settle down and feel that it may be hurting our kids moving from one place to another, never really settling down, but then I also think that life is not always what we want it to be, and that while we may not have a permament home for our kids they are loved and that home is where you make it and that we have given our kids an adventure of sorts an allowed them to experience many different places that some kids dont get to experience. Ultimately, as long as they have love and a stable family the rest will be okay. Eventually we will be "home" this I know, where that may be time will tell.

As for the kids they are doing great. Kaileigh is now 9 years old and has become engrossed in design and fashion.. Charity is 8, and will be getting baptized February 25th, she was supposed to be getting baptized on the 28th of this month, however, she really wanted her grandparents here to be apart of such a important event, and so she asked if we could postone it for them to be able to be here. Ashton is now 6, and has taken up the passion for cooking!! Brodie is 4 will be 5 in May, he has made lots of progress this past year and really starting to become a little man! MaKenna is almost 3..she will be 3 next month and let me tell you, whoever coined the term Terrible 2's never had a 3 year old. She still has her wild curls that match her onry personality!! JosieAnn is 20 months old and the same way, a spitfire who tries to follow in big sisters footsteps and doing a damn good job lol. Tanner is only 3 weeks old and pretty chill. As of right now he is very social and even the Pedi says he is amazed by this :D

Recently we watched a movie Called Courageous, if you have not seen it...DO SO! it is an amazing movie. in the movie these men sign a resolution, I feel that its an important message so would like to share it here.

I do solemnly resolve before God to embrace my current season of life and and live with a spirit of contentment.

I will champion God's model for womanhood and teach it to my children

I will celebrate my God-given uniqueness and the distinctions he has placed in others

I will live as a woman answerable to God and faithfully committed to His word.

I will seek to devote the best of myself to the primary roles God has entrusted in me.

I will be quick to listen, slow to speak, and esteem others more highly than myself.

I will forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.

I will not tolerate evil influence in myself or my home but will embrace a life of purity.

I will pursue justice, love mercy, and extend compassion toward others.

I will be faithful to my husband and honor him in my conduct and in my converstion, and will aspire to be a suitable partner to help him reach his God-given potential.

I will teach my children to love God, respect authority and live responsibly.

I will cultivate a peaceful home where God's presence is sensed.

I will make today's decisions with tomorrow's impact in mind and consider my current choices in light of future generations.

I will courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.